Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Bali Difference

It’s funny to watch and compare the two genders dance around each other in Thailand and Bali. While in Thailand, mainly in Bangkok, Pattaya or Phuket; most of the sex tourists are usually the old, saggy type of men in their late 50s up, it’s almost unheard of that women travel to Thailand for Sex.

The show is completely different in Bali: Here you usually see a younger crowd of men, but most of them bring ‘beer to Munich’ or ‘owls to Athens’, as they travel with girlfriend or wife. Rarely you see typical male sex tourists (in the classical sense) flock to Indonesia.

Instead, there is the other species of single or lonely older women (40+ onwards), sometimes heavily nipped-tucked, which seem to make the main bunch of the female tourist crowds here (apart from the drunken Aussies Gals in the bars, of course).

These middle-aged singlets are usually taken care of by the so-called Bali Boys or ‘Kuta Cowboys’. As one Bali expat observed:

“Now when I say Balinese men flirt in the bars you need to understand this is a euphemism. The world hasn’t seen such heavy-handed, obvious advances since the Third Reich marched into Leningrad.

To sit in a place like the Putra Bar and watch the Bali Boys in action is a joy to behold. And highly entertaining. Kuta, the beach area to the south, is even more notorious for this. In fact, they have a nickname for them down there: Kuta Cowboys.

Their body language is obvious. After all, no one has ever had to ask a vulture why it’s circling its prey. And even though their English is usually pretty good - since they’ve obviously heard the phrase “Know thy enemy” - sometimes it can be difficult to be certain you know exactly what they mean.

For example, when they say “You have beautiful hair”, it’s not that simple. What they really mean is, “Let’s have sex.” In case you’re a female who’s planning on visiting Bali - or a male, since the Cowboys couldn’t care less if a boyfriend or husband is standing next to their target - here’s a Kuta Cowboy-English Dictionary to help you out:

What they say What they mean
Where do you come from?Let’s have sex.
Where are you going?Let’s have sex.
Are you married?Let’s have sex.
How old are you?Let’s have sex.
You have charisma.Let’s have sex.
You make my hati (liver) quiver.Let’s have sex.
Can I buy you a drink?Let’s have sex.
I forgot my wallet, can you buy me a drink?Let’s have sex.
Why don’t you ride on the back of my motorbike?Let’s have sex.
I’ve never done anything like this before.Let’s have sex.
You like Balinese paintings?
You sure you don’t want to have sex?