Today I'm heading into the hills ...

... to a Body & Soul Retreat which is next to the Brahma Arama Vihara Temple, Indonesia’s largest Buddhist temple and not far from the Air Panas hot water springs.

On my last day at Villa Agung, an Australian family from the Sunshine Coast, mother, father, and three teenage kids plus blow-up rubber dinghy complete with paddles, flippers, snorkels and masks, invaded the 'intimate'-sized pool and left me with no regrets about leaving.

In the afternoon, Gus, Villa Agung's gracious mine host, had taken me up to Derek Hambling's house in Kayuputih, just past the "Lovina House" and close to the Daima Resort. Derek has what is probably Bali's, if not the world's, largest horizon swimming pool with panoramic views of the coastline below and the tropical sea stretching to infinity.

His property is up for sale at Euro 395,000 - see footnote - but we went there to see him because he had a much smaller place for sale in the same area which is rented out to another expat - who turned out to be no other than the grey-faced and ageing Dutch painter Theo Zantman whose paintings I had wanted to see anyway. As it happened, neither the house nor the paintings inspired me.

So here I am now, at the Banjar Hills Resort which consists of four bungalows, NUTMEG, CINNAMON, CLOVE and GINGER. I am in GINGER!

The place is owned by five Australians. It's a lovely little complex which was built in 2000 for some Balinese owners. They couldn't make it work and so it was sold to some Australian(s) in 2002, who in turn sold it for AUS$150,000 to the present owners, a group of five Australians, who are all absentee owners and leave the running of the place to Ibu Made, an absolute gem of a woman, who cleans, washes, cooks, serves meals, mixes drinks, checks you in and out - and all that for a monthly pittance of Rp. 750,000

Even with such ridiculously low labour costs and its very low purchase price, the place is not making any money, and probably never will, as with just four bungalows it lacks the economies of scale. To top it, the place has had white ants, a fire, and some villagers have also disputed the title. The joys of owning Bali real estate!

Forever being the accountant, I figured that at time of writing this place averages AUS$600 a month in room revenue, against a minimum monthly expenditure of some $700 (and that's not counting major repairs and maintenance and capital expenditure).

The restaurant, a potential source of revenue as great if not greater than the bungalows, has been sub-contracted out to caterers from the coast who pay a marginal 10% of their gross takings in rent. The hotel needs the restaurant more than the restaurant needs the hotel as without it, the hotel guests would have nowhere to go for their meals at all. Indeed, the hotel's greatest appeal, its distance from the coastal tourist belt, is also its greatest drawback.

Which brings me to the end of this blog as it's time for dinner. I've ordered the 'Nasi Goreng Spesial'.

Footnote: Five years later, this beautiful villa complex on a hillside at Kayuputih is still for sale - click here - albeit at a slightly higher price - €485,000 instead of €395,000 - and while the owner is waiting for a sale (which may never come), he's offering it for rental under the name "Villa Merpati" (Indonesian for "dove"). I've left a guestbook entry to say that I will rent it next time I come to Bali - if I don't buy it first! ☺ (seriously though, unless you have heaps of money to burn, you simply wouldn't want to take the risk of "investing" in Indonesian real estate - unless you are an Indonesian citizen or have a spouse who is - because the danger of losing it all is just too great - click here to read several articles about real estate fraud in Bali)

Public Relations Award of the Year to Lovina Real Estate

This morning I phoned an Australian woman at Lovina Real Estate with whom I had arranged previously to inspect one particular property - see www.lovinarealestate.com. She sounded all terribly busy but thought she might squeeze me in around 9.30 am and would I know where to find her office? Squeeze me in? I had come several thousand miles to see one specific property and emailed her about it previously, and she thinks she might possibly squeeze me in? No 'welcome to Bali', no mention of picking me up! I think the only culture she ever got was out of a yoghurt tub!

I took a bemo, got off at the wrong spot, and walked another kilometre to the real estate office. Was met by a hard-faced Australian woman on the wrong side of 50 who certainly didn't get much change out of me after I had worked up a sweat walking for half-an-hour under the hot sun. I told her to hone her PR skills - and walked back out again!

The real estate chap I met yesterday, Eugene from Canada, didn't seem too flash either. He came in an old car that he said he had had to rent and I felt enough pity for him to reimburse him the Rp.150,000 for the car hire. Having only one property to show me - the Lovina House at Kayuputih - he suggested we'd go up to Banjar Hills and see where I will stay for the next five days. What a beautiful spot! Panoramic views that make you want to sit and look for ever and it makes you feel - literally - being on top of the world! I shouted Eugene and the driver a nasi goreng and a bir bintang before heading back down to the coast.

I doubt these real estate "agents" sell more than one property from one year to the next - if that! It's all supply and no demand! As for buying a hotel-type property to make money out of, forget it!!! The place is full with half-finished as well as completed but abandoned and rapidly decaying hotels, and the ones which are still in business, are doing it tough.

And instead of "investing" in such a place, I could rent myself a bungalow for the next fifty years (if I lived that long!), be waited on hand and foot, and still have change left over from what it would have cost me if I had bought the place - and I'm not even counting the ongoing maintenance costs and all the hassles that go with owning a property!

It seems that Victor in Cameroon is reading this blog as well! Hello there, Victor, and a pretty postcard from Bali is on its way to you! As is to Chris in Kamloops in the icey wastes of Canada. Chris, I had a couple from Quebec on the bus. Instead of sporting the maple leaf, they displayed the royal French fleur-de-lis. Told them I had never heard of Quebec! And 'oui-oui' means a toilet stop in my language! Bugger them! They want to opt out of the Commonwealth, they can go and get!

I'm getting a lot of swimming done (well, floating-about anyway!) last thing at night and first thing in the morning. Sometimes as early as 4 o'clock! I feel physically and mentally very well and relaxed. The tropics certainly agree with me. And I sleep wonderfully: all I have to do is lie under the fan and listen to the geckos and I'm off to dreamland!

  

There's gold in them thar hills ...

... around Banjar where I'll be heading tomorrow. Back in 2006 when it seemed that we had found a buyer for "Riverbend", I searched the net for Bali properties and came up with a little beauty, a Hillside Hotel in the Banjar Hills in North Bali. I came across it again when I was looking for hotel accommodation in Bali - and there it was again! I contacted the new owner to book a bungalow for five nights at the amazingly low price of 600,000 rupiah (approx. AUS85). I told him that I had had an eye on the same property some 2-1/2 years ago which is when he had bought it - at the bargain-basement price of AUS$150,000! Good luck to him! It proves yet again how important it is to be in the right place at the right time!

P.S. Foreigners are not allowed to own real estate in Indonesia. While various schemes have been devised to get around this, none are without danger as this article testifies: Bali Villas Real Estate Fraud.

Hati-Hati! My second morning in Bali

My body clock is still on Nelligen time: it's 4 o'clock in the morning here (or 7 o'clock at home) as I sit in my room under a fan to compose this blog.

My taxi-driver friend Suyasa took me from the Harris Hotel to the Perama bus stop in Kuta. Suyasa drives one of the 500 shiny blue TAXIs of the www.bluebirdcompany.com . Too many taxis, not enough tourists! The locals seem to prefer cheaper transport, including unmetered TAKSI.

Drove past a sign which read, "AGUS'S CO-OPERATIVE ART CENTER". If the Balinese can correctly handle the possessive apostrophe, why can't the Australians? Saw a lot of signs on lamp-posts and walls which suggested, "TALK LESS, DO MORE." What a great sign to stick on the walls of Parliament House in Canberra!

The 4-hour Perama bus trip from Kuta to Lovina (Rp.125,000) took me through Ubud and then into the cool, damp mountain country around Danan Bratan. The general area around the lake is called Bedugul which is little more than a hotel, a restaurant and water sports centre. Saw a chap wearing a tee-short which read, "I started with nothing, and I still have most of it left." I want one!!! It sums up my life beautifully!

As we came farther north, we encountered fewer and fewer tourists, although there's still the occasional bony, hard-faced whote woman of uncertain age with a young Balinese toy-boy in tow. I guess, what's good for the ganter in Bangkok is good for the goose in Bali!

Gradually, as we drove through countless villages, the real Bali reasserted itself. My advice to prospective Bali travellers: Head straight north and bypass Kuta unless you want to relive "The Adventures of Barry McKenzie".

On arrival at the Perama bus stop in Lovina, the few of us who had come this far received a free lunch - simple but filling - which was included in the fare. Then we were given a quick promotional tour of their little rental bungalows which were lovely and quiet and which - wait for it! - rented for Rp.80,000 FOR TWO NIGHTS - and that includes breakfast! That's AUS$5 a night! One drawback: there is no pool but the beach is at the back of the property or for Rp.15,000 a day the nearby hotel Celuk Agung will let you use their 25 m pool.

By comparison, Sandy and Gus's VILLA AGUNG seems outrageously expensive at Rp.200,000 a night for a fan-cooled room. The menu, too, is a bit expensive in this ageing and slightly derelict-looking establishment but it has a friendly clientele and the owner, 68-year old Gus from Washington D.C., is one of the few agreeable Yanks I have ever met. His wife Sandy hasn't put in an appearance yet but no doubt she will eventually emerge from their adjoining residence which they built some ten years ago, after which they also acquired VILLA AGUNG which had gone bust. After the first Bali bombing, they thought it would happen to them, too, as they watched their place remain empty for well over a year.

Back to bed for another hour before the mosque and the roosters wake me up again when I drop into the pool described in their website as 'intimate' which is code for 'very tiny', however, it does the job of warming me up (yes, you have read correctly: at the crack of dawn, before the sun heats up the air, it's warmer inside the pool than out.)

The Bali Traveller

Many people have been irresistibly drawn to the island of Bali. Tourism is the number one industry for Bali, and every five minutes jet loads of visitors arrive to experience the tropical dream. The total number of tourists each year reaches almost 3 million.

A disproportionate number of visitors come from Australia, no doubt because of its proximity and the predilection Australians have for sunshine and beaches. Right from the moment they arrive you can discern two particular groups of visitors arriving from Austrralia's fair shores:

The stereotypical Australian “yobbo tourist”, firstly, travels by Qantas. He consumes as much free grog as possible, eats Australian food, and reads the Australian newspaper while en-route. He takes an air-conditioned taxi from the airport, arrives at his air-conditioned hotel or homestay, and enjoys the comforts of a home away from home. He may go out to “Norm’s Pub” and watch some Aussie Rules Football on TV or drink a Fosters Beer.

No matter what environment he may be in, no matter what the local culture is – he will try to ensure that his experience is consistent with what he is used to. He will not want to step outside of his comfort zone – literally. Inevitably, any deviation from what he expects will prove disastrous. He’ll complain about the heat, the food, the locals, and the inconveniences. Then, after he’s arrived home, he’ll tell everyone about the great time he had in Bali!

The Australian “traveller”, on the other hand, will visit another country precisely because he wants to absorb himself in a completely different environment and culture. He will travel Garuda and enjoy the local food, practising the local language with the attendants along the way. He’ll read the Indonesian subtitles of the movies, and continually check his phrase book to make sure his language is up to scratch for when he arrives.

The traveller will walk outside of the airport to find the local transport, and happily drag his backpack on board a local minivan or ‘bemo’. He’ll enjoy the hour it takes to travel 3 kilometres, squashed in with the pigs and the chickens, seeing it as an authentic Indonesian experience. He’ll enthusiastically soak up the sights and smells of the country he is visiting, no matter how unusual they may be. He stays in a local homestay, bravely bearing the hole-in-the-ground toilet and languid ceiling fans, taking time to interact with the local people and learn about their lives. No matter what happens, he’ll enjoy the experience simply because it is a unique experience.

Both the yobbo tourist and the traveller have arrived in the same country. Both have had similar experiences. What sets them apart, however, is their attitudes. It shapes how they see the situation, and how they respond to it. It determines, ultimately, how enjoyable and meaningful their visit will be.