"Where the Bali hell have you been?"

"There and back. Just there and back. And now I'm back. And this is the end. Or the start. Or whatever. Take your pick. Blog off!"

--- but not before having viewed some last impressions of Bali:

Click here for larger image

Last rites

Well, I've booked my wake-up call for 5 a.m. and my airport shuttle-bus pick-up for 6 a.m. One more sleep and I'm homeward bound!

Judging by all the single mothers sitting in the cafés along Mitchell Street and sipping their Pina Coladas (don't even know how to spell the stuff let alone waste $10 a pop on it!), yesterday must've been "Pension Day". Darwin has a "Canberra-ish" sort of feel to it as, being the seat of the Territory government, it has at the bottom of every highrise building housing the myriad of government departments a constant cluster of so-called "public servants" taking their 'smokos'. My theory is that even non-smokers in the "public service" become habitual smokers so as to be able to cut down on their present-at-work hours (in other occupations known as 'working hours') from the required 7-and-a-bit to probably less than 4 or 5.

Q: Why have public servants stopped looking out of the window in the morning?
A: Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon ...

I have no idea what it would be like to walk around in this hot weather (or, for that matter, in any weather) with hemaroids (hemorrhoids?) up one's butt but I'm convinced it couldn't be much worse than having a heatrash up one's groin. And so I spent the afternoon in an air-conditioned arcade just outside a COLES supermarket, sitting in one of those coin-operated massage-chairs. Except this one was out of order which kind of summed up everything as I sat there with this large sign stuck on the wall above my head which read, "OUT OF ORDER".

Putting Descartes before the source

I've been away! Have I been away? Or have I just been dreaming or hallucinating?

There was a a chap in the seventeenth century, René Descartes, who opted for reason over a divine source of knowledge. He probably wishes he'd never said, "Cogito ergo sum" ("I think, therefore I am"), because it's all anybody remembers about him.

He arrived at the cogito through an experiment in radical doubt to discover if there was anything he could be certain of; that is, anything that he could not doubt away.

He started out by doubting the existence of the external world. That was easy enough. I do it all the time! Then he tried doubting his own existence. But doubt as he would, he kept coming up against the fact that there was a doubter. Must be himself! He could not doubt his own doubting.

Maybe he should have said, "Dubito ergo sum."

There can be no doubt that I've been to Bali! I've got the sunburn to prove it. And the prickly heatrash in the groin. And an empty wallet.

"I'm sunburnt and heatrashed and without money, therefore I must have been to Bali."

I Still Call Australia Home

I've been to cities that never close down,
from New York to Rio and old London town,
but no matter how far or how wide I roam,
I still call Australia home.

I'm always travelIing, I love being free,
and so I keep leaving the sun and the sea,
but my heart lies waiting over the foam,
I still call Australia home.

All the sons and daughters spinning 'round the world,
away from their family and friends,
but as the world gets older and colder,
it's good to know where your journey ends.
Someday we'll all be together once more,
when all of the ships come back to the shore,
I’ll realise something I've always known,
I still call Australia home.

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I will always call Australia home! Bloody oath!

Touch-down

Leaving Bali just before midnight and arriving in Darwin at 3 o'clock in the morning is murder. I had a spot of bother getting my bag's of apostrophe's through Custom's. As they told me, "We've got heap's of apostrophe's in the country already; we don't wan't any more import's." However, after consulting various regulation's, two senior Custom's official's allowed all my apostrophe's in. But they did suggest that in future it would help if I didn't enter on my arrival card under "Occupation" the words "Apostrophe-NAZI".

Never arrive anywhere in the dead of night and expect a welcome! Darwin Central was booked out. The night porters John Dada and Umit were most apologetic but full is full! So were all the other 24-hour reception places as there are a couple of conventions in town. Anyway, they were all around $200 a night and more!

(Actually, there was a "backpacker-ish" sort of place that had a single, self-contained room for $75, and while the reception-guy's dreadlocks didn't inspire confidence, I was prepared to take a punt but blew my fuse when he wanted to inspect and photocopy my passport as part of the registration process! Inspect my passport? And photocopy it? In my own country? I realised later that this seemed standard procedure in the Top End to catch out illegal immigrants but at the time I considered it an affront to my civil liberties.)

Took a taxi back out to the airport and was determined to catch the first flight down to Sydney. What stopped me was that the next flight out was only on Wednesday. And it would have cost me another $427 on top of what I had already paid. Took the shuttle bus for the second time into town and found a room at the inn - the Poinciana Inn on the corner of McLachlan and Mitchell Streets, to be precise - where Esther, the night-porter - from Kalimantan!!! - even allowed me a very early check-in at 6 am so that I could go to sleep immediately. It's right in the centre of town at the top-end of Mitchell Street which is the entertainment strip of Darwin with wall-to-wall bars, restaurants, and discoes from one end to the other. It's a slightly ageing but spotlessly clean place of the kind that reminds me of hotels in the 60s except that this one must have been built at least ten years later as Cyclone Tracy wiped out all of Darwin at Christmas 1974. At $125 a night it's just a very ordinary hotel. Compare that to the $15 a night I paid at the exquisitely appointed and rather exclusive Banjar Hills Retreat! Saying 'good-bye' to Bali meant saying 'good-bye' to low prices, to immediate eye-contact and friendly smiles!

I have a sneaking suspicion that the owner of the hotel is a German. Although I have not actually seen the word "VERBOTEN", the place has sticky-taped signs everywhere: 'NIGHT-SWIMMING PROHIBITED", 'NO SMOKING IN ROOM - PENALTIES APPLY", "NO UNATTENDED CHILDREN IN LIFT", "NO SPITTING OFF BALCONY", and "PUT LITTER IN BIN PROVIDED".

It's now midday and I'm almost rested and sitting in an internet café called Cheap AZ Travel in Knuckey Street next to SUBWAYS which is half the price of any other internet place in town and where half the world seems to meet as there are people of all shapes and shades living in their own parallel universes.

I've had some Chinese food, or, as the Chinese call it, food. I've also been into Woolworths and bought Swiss cheese, sliced ham, crunchy breadrolls and apple juice, and some traditional soft licorice - all the sorts of things I couldn't get in Bali.

I am now ready to explore the city. First impressions: it's hot, hot, and hot! And it's a huge concrete jungle! No real feel of an outback town or what the Darwin of old used to be.

I was going to visit the Mindil Beach Sunset Markets on Fannie Bay tonight but was told that it won't start again until the 30th of April. I'll be on the morning-flight to Sydney on the 25th, then the bus, then the old CAMRY up to Riverbend - and I'm ready for a long, long holiday at "Riverbend"! Home sweet home? You bet!

Hengky Tambayong, Bali's best hotel manager

TIME Bali's Best Hotel Manager

When in Bali, stay at the HARRIS TUBAN and be looked after by their friendly staff under the leadership of Hengky Tambayong. Anybody who's made it to the cover of TIME Magazine must be good!

It's 'Selamat tinggal' to Bali ...

... and quite soon 'Hello' to "Riverbend" again - which isn't all bad as I remind myself of what the Mole said to the Rat in "The Wind in the Willows":

"And you really live by the river? What a jolly life!", to which the Rat replied, "By it and with it and on it and in it. It's my world, and I don't want any other. What it hasn't got is not worth having, and what it doesn't know is not worth knowing. "

Well, this rat is going back to its home at "Riverbend" - with a five-day detour to check out the rat-race in Darwin!

I'm staying for one more night in the lap of luxury at the Harris Hotel in Tuban before being seen off by their friendly staff. Killed a couple of hours in the Buglis Bar across the road. My recommendation? Don't!!! It's a rip-off joint! And a totally depressing experience - unless you consider it an uplifting experience to meet in one place all the down-and-out Bali expats ranging from run-away husbands to worse!

On the shuttle bus from Hell

The driver of the shuttle bus from Ubud to Kuta ran every red traffic light in a particularly Indonesian way: as he approached a red light, he immediately changed to the left-turning lane (which here can always turn left, even on a red light), sped up the sidestreet for a hundred metres or so, did a sharp U-turn almost without slowing down, and dashed back to the intersection whence he'd come, and turned left again, beating the whole red-light queue he had refused to join!

Try doing the same in Australia and you'd be collecting traffic infringement notices for jumping lanes, crossing white lines, doing U-turns, and for dangerous driving - not to mention for speeding, as all this was done at breakneck-speed! And with a commuter bus full of frightened passengers!

Reminds me of a joke:

Pat:  "Mike, I'm calling you from the freeway on my new cell phone."
Mike:"Be careful, Pat. They just said on the radio that there's a nut driving the wrong way on the freeway."
Pat:  "One nut? Hell, there are hundreds of them!"

A message from the President of the ARJANA Ool Club!

(Motto: We've kept the p out of our ool; please keep it that way!)

With my impending departure from Bali, I hereby officially dissolve the ARJANA Ool Club! Would all past and present members - be they back in the U.K. (or West Indies) or Belgium or Holland or still in Bali - please tender their official resignation by email to riverbend@batemansbay.com. Subject to sufficient interest, a meeting may be held twelve months from now at the Nomad Restaurant in Jalan Raya to renew past memberships. Members who resided in "Rathole Number 1" will be exempt from paying membership fees. (And don't think for one moment that this is too much of a long shot: you've been touched by the big wide world and I don't expect that you will meekly settle back into domesticity in Holland or Belgium so here's to a reunion in 2010 in Bali!!!)

I hope you have enjoyed as much as I our many and long conversations even if they were, in the words of Longfellow, as between ships that pass in the night. "Terima Kasih" and it's "Selamat Tinggal" from me (who's leaving) and "Selamat Jalan" from you (who are staying), and may you keep fond memories of our hours by the oolside! Further news may be gleaned from the blog athomeatriverbend.blogspot.com.

Peter Goerman
(Self-appointed) President of the ARJANA Ool Club
Jalan Kajeng
Ubud, Bali

P.S. Pictures to follow (after they've been released by the Censors) but it may take some time. After all, I'm still on Bali-time so why procrastinate when you can perendinate?

P.P.S. Have just checked out the Darwin Backpacker Job Centre for you. Quite a number of suitable jobs. See Emily Tyler at the Backpacker Job Centre at Shop 20, 69 Mitchell Street (that's in the centre of town), and start pulling beer or serving hamburgers the next day!!!

Other backpacking jobs are at

http://www.workaboutaustralia.com.au
http://www.gruntlabour.com/jobseekeratwork/
http://www.thejobshop.com.au/
http://jobsearch.gov.au/harvesttrail/default.aspx

The Club premises and some of its members:

      

Sonnet: " Lift not the painted veil . . ." by Percy Shelley 1818 Lift not the painted veil which those who live Call Life: though unreal shapes be pictured there, And it but mimic all we would believe With colours idly spread, --- behind, lurk Fear And Hope, twin Destinies; who ever weave Their shadows, o'er the chasm, sightless and drear. I knew one who had lifted it --- he sought, For his lost heart was tender, things to love, But found them not, alas ! nor was there aught The world contains, the which he could approve. Through the unheeding many he did move, A splendour among shadows, a bright blot Upon this gloomy scene, a Spirit that strove For truth, and like the Preacher found it not.

An Elegy on the Death of a Mad Dog Good people all, of every sort, Give ear unto my song; And if you find it wondrous short, It cannot hold you long. In Islington there was a man, Of whom the world might say That still a godly race he ran, Whene'er he went to pray. A kind and gentle heart he had, To comfort friends and foes; The naked every day he clad, When he put on his clothes. And in that town a dog was found, As many dogs there be, Both mongrel, puppy, whelp and hound, And curs of low degree. This dog and man at first were friends; But when a pique began, The dog, to gain some private ends, Went mad and bit the man. Around from all the neighbouring streets The wondering neighbours ran, And swore the dog had lost his wits, To bite so good a man. The wound it seemed both sore and sad To every Christian eye; And while they swore the dog was mad, They swore the man would die. But soon a wonder came to light, That showed the rogues they lied: The man recovered of the bite, The dog it was that died. -- Oliver Goldsmith

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And here are three more short stories by Somerset W. Maugham: "The Lotus Eater", "German Harry", and "The Outstation".

“There is so much weariness and disappointment in travel that people have to open up — in railway trains, over a fire, on the decks of steamers, and in the palm courts of hotels on a rainy day. They have to pass the time somehow, and they can pass it only with themselves. Like the characters in Chekhov, they have no reserves — you learn the most intimate secrets. You get an impression of a world peopled by eccentrics, of odd professions, almost incredible stupidities, and, to balance them, amazing endurances.”
—Graham Greene, The Lawless Roads, 1939

Bali Goes Bust

Bali is in crisis. Tourism has dried up since the terrorist attacks and now Jakarta might introduce a strict pornography law that would ban bikinis. Locals worry it could be the final straw for the tourist trade.

"Things are very hard right now. There are no tourists", despairs one beach seller. Now, there's a new threat to Bali's reputation as a tourist paradise. In Jakarta, politicians are considering a new law which would prevent people going to the beach scantily dressed. "It could kill tourism totally."

Watch this video clip.

Always go before you leave home!

A Balinese ‘dunny’ is a traveller’s worst nightmare – and the worst of the worst is probably one you’ll be asked to pay for! I’ve frequently seen stalwart companions-in-need get just inside the door (often just an opening in the wall really), do a U-turn and exit without perceptible pause, looking pallid and strained.

Never approach them in bare feet or with only thongs or flip-flops on. Can you use a toilet with only one hand? You will have to because your other hand will be needed to hold your nose. And don't ever contemplate sitting (on those that are of Western design)

Don’t think for one minute that nice shops, department stores, or even hotels at times, will have anything other than DUNNIES! Above all, don’t expect toilet paper. ALWAYS take your own toilet paper for emergencies. It’s as important as money as soon as you leave your hotel. And remember your dear old mother’s advice, "Always go before you leave home!"

East or West, Home is Best!

Picture of myself, looking all sweaty and homesick, to follow

I'm into my third week, and am beginning to think of home. As they say, "The best part of travelling is coming home again", and I'm reaching that stage. There's no place like home! Sleeping in one's own bed, waking up to familiar sounds, being surrounded by everything one holds dear - and surprise, surprise for one who constantly daydreams of once again living in the tropics, going for a walk without breaking out into a sweat within the first thirty seconds!

"Riverbend", here I come!

DVDs

Bali is also a Paradise for movie lovers as DVDs are very cheap: Rp.15,000 each (that's less than AUS$2 !!!), and if you buy five, you get a sixth one for free! I bought:

THE READER
ROMULUS, MY FATHER
EINSTEIN AND EDDINGTON
THE LIVES OF OTHERS (Das Leben der Anderen)
TEN CANOES
WE WERE SOLDIERS
THE PAINTED VEIL
TURTLES CAN FLY
THE VALLEY OF LIGHT
KOKODA
THE JANE AUSTEN BOOK CLUB
THE PIANIST
AUSTRALIA
VALKYRIE
HOTEL RWANDA
LOST IN TRANSLATION
THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND
LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA
MY BOY JACK
BORAT!

By contrast, some other things are expensive: discovered on a restaurant menu a bottle of very ordinary Jacob's Creek Chardonay for Rp.450,000. That's a cool AUS$60 for what in Australia costs less than AUS$10. Not that I was interested as I was already into my second glass of local rice wine!!!

The Dolphin Story

Pictures to follow

Today was a very full and tiring day: a 3-hour bus ride to Lovina with kids in their wheelchairs, then a beautiful lunch at the poolside of the Melka Excelsior Hotel, followed by a swim with the two dolphins by each of the ten disabled kids.

You should have seen the joy in their eyes! It made the whole day so worthwhile!

Our thanks to Carl Meyer, the owner of the Melka Excelsior, his wife, and all the staff who were so helpful!

The Bali Difference

It’s funny to watch and compare the two genders dance around each other in Thailand and Bali. While in Thailand, mainly in Bangkok, Pattaya or Phuket; most of the sex tourists are usually the old, saggy type of men in their late 50s up, it’s almost unheard of that women travel to Thailand for Sex.

The show is completely different in Bali: Here you usually see a younger crowd of men, but most of them bring ‘beer to Munich’ or ‘owls to Athens’, as they travel with girlfriend or wife. Rarely you see typical male sex tourists (in the classical sense) flock to Indonesia.

Instead, there is the other species of single or lonely older women (40+ onwards), sometimes heavily nipped-tucked, which seem to make the main bunch of the female tourist crowds here (apart from the drunken Aussies Gals in the bars, of course).

These middle-aged singlets are usually taken care of by the so-called Bali Boys or ‘Kuta Cowboys’. As one Bali expat observed:

“Now when I say Balinese men flirt in the bars you need to understand this is a euphemism. The world hasn’t seen such heavy-handed, obvious advances since the Third Reich marched into Leningrad.

To sit in a place like the Putra Bar and watch the Bali Boys in action is a joy to behold. And highly entertaining. Kuta, the beach area to the south, is even more notorious for this. In fact, they have a nickname for them down there: Kuta Cowboys.

Their body language is obvious. After all, no one has ever had to ask a vulture why it’s circling its prey. And even though their English is usually pretty good - since they’ve obviously heard the phrase “Know thy enemy” - sometimes it can be difficult to be certain you know exactly what they mean.

For example, when they say “You have beautiful hair”, it’s not that simple. What they really mean is, “Let’s have sex.” In case you’re a female who’s planning on visiting Bali - or a male, since the Cowboys couldn’t care less if a boyfriend or husband is standing next to their target - here’s a Kuta Cowboy-English Dictionary to help you out:

What they say	What they mean
Where do you come from?	Let’s have sex.
Where are you going?	Let’s have sex.
Are you married?	Let’s have sex.
How old are you?	Let’s have sex.
You have charisma.	Let’s have sex.
You make my hati (liver) quiver.	Let’s have sex.
Can I buy you a drink?	Let’s have sex.
I forgot my wallet, can you buy me a drink?	Let’s have sex.
Why don’t you ride on the back of my motorbike?	Let’s have sex.
I’ve never done anything like this before.	Let’s have sex.
You like Balinese paintings?	You sure you don’t want to have sex?

A Patch of Paradise

The author of this book, Gaia Grant, was becoming increasingly unsatisfying and stressed out in Sydney. She wasn’t getting as much as she wanted out of her relationship, her child or her work. A nameless urban ennui was setting in.

Professionally and emotionally unfulfilled, the dream of taking off work and escaping for a year kept her sane in an increasingly insane city environment where people were bombarded by "on average, 3000 TV, radio, newspaper and magazine ads in the course of a day."

So she dared to start a new life with her family on the breath-stoppingly beautiful but feudal island of Bali which was the deductive result of her need to find a tropical, idyllic and affordable beach environment. To keep her husband happy, it also had to have good surf.

This is not a travel book. There are no high adventures at sea, no hair-raising surfing stories, no visits to remote tribal territories. It does contain the sensitivity, wisdom and perspective of a woman’s efforts to start a new life; also practical and amusing advice on how to drive a car on Bali, and how to recognize moneychangers’ ruses. And she reveals how she found her patch of paradise.

A Doris Lessing or Anais Nin she is not, but Gaia Grant’s verve for life is inextinguishable. She’s a keen observer of Balinese compounds, temples, ceremonies, all wrought in overwhelming detail.

When your life is over, you do not regret that you had not spent enough time at the office. You regret that you did not spend nearly enough time with the people you loved. The writer understands this. For instance, she made a pact with her young daughter, Zoe. At least once a day she will go to the beach with her, no matter what, even if it was for just 10 minutes.

In the last pages of the book, Gaia Grant warns her readers not to expect too much of Bali, not to choose the "geographical cure." People searching for their own patch of paradise may end up taking their unhappiness with them no matter where they go. Those seekers must first be prepared to search for and deal with their unhappiness at its source.

Perhaps the book’s most important raison d’etre is to convince people how easy it is to start a new life. It’s sub-subtitle could almost be "You can do it, too!" Bali, Gaia writes, is "for people with an open mind and an accepting spirit who can reap the treasures of a tropical, community-oriented lifestyle."

Bali 1910, 1932, 1946 and today

Bali 1910

Bali circa 1946

Bali 1932

and today!

ARJANA Bungalows in Ubud

I slept beautifully in my big ARJANA bungalow amongst the rice fields just a short walk up Jalan Kajeng outside Ubud. And it's a mere Rp. 125,000 a day - that's about AUS$15 in real money! It has a beautiful swimming pool. Went out for a chicken-curry and BIR BINTANG last night. Slept right through a hugh thunderstorm and now it's very hot and humid. I think I stay here for rest of my time in Bali with just a day-trip on the 15th to Lovina to swim with the kids from the Kupu-Kupu Foundation in the dolphin pool at the Melka Excelsior Hotel.

    

Bali Candy

In Indonesia there is a widely accepted practice in stores country-wide, that instead of small change they give you candy. That means for every Rp 100 they owe you, you will get a piece of candy. Sweet or annoying? A welcomed treat for sweet tooths - annoying for some; as some Aussie smart pants tried in reversal to pay his purchases with the same coin.

In what is believed to be the first case of its kind in Bali, an Australian expatriate attempted to pay for purchases at a Kuta supermarket with a wallet-full of candy, shop management said. The 32-year-old, who accumulated his bulging wallet of cheap individually wrapped confectionery during months of supermarket spending, failed in his endeavor.

Putu, who was on checkout number 3 on Tuesday lunchtime, was surprised that he proffered a fist-full of candy to pay for his items, which included a head of broccoli, three cans of beer and a chocolate bar, and a pack of condoms.

She demanded cash. The man, identified as Stuart Longhorn, a civil engineer, said he had accumulated his stockpile of candy as part of the store’s policy of giving candy as change and saw “no reason” why he couldn’t use the unusual-yet-accepted candy currency to pay for goods.

Did Hitler ever go to Bali?

"Om Swasti Astu". With this mystical greeting, guests are welcomed to the island of Bali, a Hindu enclave in the Indonesian archipelago, home to volcanoes, reefs and pristine beaches, gamelan orchestras and temples protected by troops of monkeys. The visitor is offered everything from surf, nightlife, markets and Bintang beer.

Bali is nothing short of paradise, an island of grandeur and mysticism. Beyond the pure tourist attractions however, the traveller with an interest in military history and militaria could not but be struck by the abundance of swastikas throughout the island. To the unknowing, the immediate reaction is to somehow try to relate the island's symbology with the Third Reich, or some resurgent neo-nazism movement, but unfortunately Hitler's adoption of the symbol has perhaps forever tarnished the swastika's ancient significance.

Hotels, restaurants and businesses on Bali bear the name 'Swastika', while almost everywhere else on the island the swastika appears on statues, tiles, banners and temple friezes. The actual word 'swastika' is derived from Sanskrit, the language of ancient India, meaning 'well-being', partly reiterated in the Balinese greeting "Om Swasti Astu". The swastika itself, in various forms, has been a Hindu symbol for thousands of years -- a sunwheel representing the continuous progression of life, death and reincarnation, optimistically interpreted as prosperity and good fortune.

Where the Bali hell are you?

Where the bloody hell are you? Apparently not in Bali.

In the wake of two bombings and bad press surrounding the high-profile Schapelle Corby, Bali Nine and Michelle Leslie drug trials, Australians are shunning Bali big time.

The number of Australians heading to the tourist island has dropped from about 224,000 to just 95,000 - a 57 per cent slump that has had a devastating impact on the island's economy. During the same period, the number of European tourists heading to Bali has fallen far less - by about 15 to 20 per cent.

It's a contrast Australian businessman Brett Morgan has played up in an online viral marketing campaign he has launched to spark a resurgence in Australians packing their bags for Bali. The campaign features a tongue-in-cheek video that shamelessly twists the controversial Tourism Australia tagline, "Where the bloody hell are you?" to "Where the Bali hell are you?"

It stars a smiling Balinese guide who highlights how Bali's delights are now being lapped up by tourists from other parts of the world while Australians miss out. "Hey look, the Japanese are surfing your bloody waves," the guide says as a group of surfers runs along a beach. "The Russians are in your bloody spas. The Dutch are wearing your bloody thongs. The Americans are doing your bloody shopping. The Italians are drinking your bloody beer. The French are eating in your bloody restaurants. The Germans are laughing in your bloody pool bars."

At the end of the clip, the guide asks: "Aussie ... where the Bali hell are you?"

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Sidoarjo on the way to Trawas

On the way to Trawas we drove past what is probably one of the biggest disasters affecting tens of thousands of people. Here's the story:

A leading Indonesian environmental group has sued an energy firm and President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono over a mud volcano that has displaced more than 10,000 people in Java, its chairman said on Tuesday.

The torrent of hot mud has been flowing since an oil drilling accident in May and has inundated entire villages in Sidoarjo, an industrial suburb of East Java's Surabaya, Indonesia's second-largest city.

Numerous attempts to cap or curb the flow have failed and it has become a political and environmental issue, with the government under fire from critics for what they say were lax safety standards behind the accident and for not doing enough to resolve the situation.

Environmental watchdog Walhi filed the suit in a Jakarta court on Monday and named the company blamed for the mudflow, PT Lapindo Brantas, its partners, Yudhoyono and other local officials as defendants, said the group's chairman, Chalid Muhammad.

"The mud flow has damaged the local ecosystem and removed residents from their villages. The current effort is not effective and its funding is controlled by Lapindo," he told Reuters.

The suit demanded that Yudhoyono require Lapindo and its partners to bear all the costs for stopping the mud flow, compensating victims and restoring the environment.

Lapindo and PT Energi Mega Persada Tbk, which indirectly controls it, dispute whether the mud flow was caused by the drilling and also whether Lapindo alone should shoulder the cost.

Energi is owned by the Bakrie Group, controlled by the family of Indonesia's chief social welfare minister, Aburizal Bakrie. Lapindo holds a 50-percent stake in the Brantas block from where the mud is gushing.

Energi International Tbk holds 32 percent and Australia-based Santos Ltd the remaining 18 percent.

Yudhoyono said in December that Lapindo would have to pay US$420 million to victims and for efforts to stop the mud. Lapindo has agreed to pay 2.5 million rupiah (US$276.5) per square metre for swamped land and damaged buildings, and 120,000 rupiah per square metre for inundated rice fields.

The suit also demanded the president set up a team with more powers to investigate the disaster and mobilise expertise to stop it, the environment group said. The court has not set a date for the first hearing.

... for more information on the disaster.

'Hello' to Chris in the Canadian arctic wastes!

I notice you're following my blog. I'm now in Surabaya. Plenty of misplaced apostrophes here! Being a confirmed apostrophe-Nazi, next time I leave home it'll be with a paintbrush and a pot of paint and I'll overpaint all those misplaced apostrophes wherever I can find them. Maybe I can turn it into a tax-deductible trip, freeing the world of misplaced apostrophes!?

Surabaya

I'm flying across to Java today with GARUDA (which stands for "good and reliable under Dutch administration")to visit my parents-in-law in Surabaya and to meet "Professor Timmy" and little Cecil (who's just made it onto the cover of TIME Magazine). It's a short 40-minute flight on a 737-400.

Tomorrow the whole family will drive to Trawas, a mountain resort an hour's drive away from Surabaya, where we'll say at the Blessing Hills Hotel for the night.

Will probably stay for four days and return to Bali on the 14th.

Hello to Paul and Sarah in Brunei!

Selamat Pagi, Paul and Sarah!

I've just noticed you're reading my blog. I enjoyed my meeting you at Villa Agung. Keep in touch!

My email is riverbend@batemansbay.com

My webpage is www.riverbendnelligen.com and my other blog is www.athomeatriverbend.blogspot.com.

Garden of Eden

I feel like I've woken up in the Garden of Eden! I had better leave that apple (or whatever it is) untouched!

Like in the original Garden of Eden, many things have turned sour here for unsuspecting foreigners. After I had told the Balinese lady who looks after the Banjar Hills bungalows that I had almost bought the place myself back in 2006, she asked, "You want to buy house? I show you!", and off we went down a slippery track only fit for a mountain-goat, skipped from boulder to boulder in a fast-running stream, and balanced across slippery logs over deep irrigation channels. We finally arrived at what is a typically Balinese walled compound built at the far end of a deep valley where not a single breeze stirred the oppressive heat. A (mad?) Dutchman had built it; two small houses, a kitchen/bathroom annexe, and the usual wooden shadehouse platform.

Evidence of some long-ago human habitation was strewn across the bird-cropping covered floors: old copies of the Dutch version of Reader's Digest, some Dutch magazines, and in a corner a mildewed pair of wooden shoes! Jungle- or gum-boots would have been more appropriate as this place is really hard to get to.

What possessed the Dutchman to build a house where everything had to be brought in on foot single-file? And if I had thought that we had come via some shortcut and the way out would be any easier, I was in for a shock as we had to struggle our way up steep and slippery hills on an hardly definable track. What would it be like during the rainy season?

I seem to remember having seen the place advertised for sale on a website which, however, made no mention of its "Heart of Darkness" location.

Another Bali Dream gone sour, just as for the Australian family who arrived last night to stay for a week. The woman, with a haughty and supercilious Penny-Penfold look on her face which made me suspect she was a school mistress, stated grandly, "We're here on business", whereas her husband, Keith, was a little more self-effacing when he confided that they had committed a lot of money to having a villa built at Lovina for their retirement but things weren't going too well. He's a school teacher which became apparent when he talked about 'pentatonic scales' after he had inspected my newly acquired kecapi. "Well, yes, indeed, and how different from the heptatonic scales we're used to," I couldn't stop myself from replying. Bloody show-off!

He pointed out the location from the vantage point of the hotel's restaurant: three tall palmtrees next to a terracotta-tiled roof. The builder, he said, was an Australian expat living in Bali which gave him some hope. Hardly a recommendation in my opinion as most of the expats I've met here so far are the sort of people I'd cross the road to avoid.

Next day, and after meetings with several Balinese people, the result was out: no building, no builder, no money! They're checking out already as it pains him to look down to the coast and see those three palmtrees mockingly waving at him!

When I jokingly ask him, "How's Bob the Builder? - or should I say Shaun?" (that being the real name of the Australian builder), he replied, "He's gone into hiding." Well, being a school teacher, he's just learned a lesson rather than giving one: never trust a builder, especially one who's left Australia to live in Bali!

Some pictures of the Banjar Hills Resort:

     

Some pictures of the "mad Dutchman's house":

      

Last night at Banjar Hills

My last night at Banjar Hills. I'll leave tomorrow morning 8 o'clock for Denpasar, via Danau Bratan and Danau Buyan. The flight to Surabaya leaves at 3.30 pm.

I did my "laundry" this afternoon by donning the two underpants I've been wearing these past couple of days, and going for a long swim in the pool. Now they're hanging out to dry and are as good as new.

Will have a big meal tonight to see me through until lunchtime tomorrow. Wearing my Apostrophe-Nazi tee-shirt, I went straight past the menu pages headed "Pizza's" and "Pasta's" and settled for Ayam Bumbu Kuning and a Bir Bintang.

      

Things are a little bit slower here...

... so don't expect too many emails from me!

I'm off to Air Panas for my morning's ablutions

Each night outside my door a wild animal symphony performance takes place. Crickets and cicadas drum and hum. Frogs bleat like lambs. The hollow bark of a distant dog repeats its line for six beats, pauses for eight, then begins again. Roosters and night birds add their mournful crows and cries.

As the first shades of light creep into the sky, the cacophony abates, as if all the crying animals, comforted by the bright familiarity of daylight, realised they are saved from eternal darkness for another round. Now the sun warms their feathers and fur; people start to move about as they normally do.

I dress for my morning walk and follow a dirt road into the rice paddies. It's already busy with one or two motorbikes going towards town, barefoot farmers with leather skin, heading out to the paddies and school children in cute uniforms on their way to school.

As I pass, each person speaks to me a soft morning greeting. 'Paahggeeeee'.

At first I reply with good morning but then I get the courage to imitate the musical rise and fall of their word. 'Paaaahgggeeee' I answer and the smile I get in response is worth the effort.

Yesterday I met cute little Putri and her grandmother. I had bought her an icecream and we had communicated with smiles and gestures. And there she is again, seemingly waiting for me. 'Di mana Air Panas, Putri?', I ask her. She simply takes my hand and leads me along. When I smile, she smiles, when I whistle, she whistles, and so we pass the time until we arrive at the hot-springs.

They are a real treat! These hot springs have existed for hundreds of years and were developed into three pools during the Japanese occupation when Japanese officers stationed nearby used them for their recreation. The water is said to heal skin diseases.

A very deflating story

This is a pretty international phenomenon: Motorists drive and park their cars in the tiniest spaces, so they just don’t have to walk too far to their final destination. On the island of Bali the capital Denpasar and the regions around Kuta, Legian and Seminyak are these days clogged with cars; traffic density is increasing and finding parking space can be a bit of a problem. You know that if you insist on parking in a ‘no parking zone’ you might get fined (via a parking ticket), wheel-clamped or - worst case - your car get towed - with associated steep costs and hassles.

Not so in Bali! Since Jalan Legian, the main road connecting the tourist areas of Kuta, Legian and Seminyak was recently declared a ‘no parking zone’, the local authorities updated their rules accordingly. Vehicles found parking in the road won’t get a ticket or are towed away.They will simply have their tires deflated. “We are serious now, we will activate a team to monitor parking conditions on Jalan Legian.” said one official, “we will deflate the tires of any cars parked on the street”. That’s what I call an innovative idea. Not everyone has a compressor onboard one's car, so it will cause quite some annoyances to those parking offenders.

As you can see, Bali is quite a unique place on earth. Things work different here and you are guaranteed your daily dose of laughs while staying here. Just take it all easy and follow the rules - then nothing can happen!

Welcome to my room...

... with a view! The Body & Soul Retreat is perfect! I could easily stay here forever! Maybe I will!

In the morning when I go for a walk through the village of Tegeha, I feel like the Pied Piper of Hamelin, as a string of laughing and smiling kids follows me. I'm always ready for them with the Indonesian equivalents of MARS Bars, 'Biskuit Coklat dengan Krim Susu', and 'Coklat Keju'. What a friendly and open society where people still trust each other and enjoy each other's company! In Australia they would already have me locked up as a suspected pedophile!

My enchanting neighbourhood

Brahma Vihara-Arama known more as "Banjar Buddhist Temple" is the biggest Buddhist temple in Bali. It was built in 1969 and completely finished in 1970 and formally functioned around 1973. It is located on a hill at Banjar Tegeha village, district of Banjar with serene and peaceful surrounding over viewing Lovina Beach. It is not far from the temple where Banjar hot spring is located and being not so far from Lovina Beach has made the hot spring one of interesting places in Buleleng regency even known more among visitors.

The building design and its ornaments reflects typical Balinese architecture but the dominant function as a Buddhist temple can be seen from the big "stupa", Buddha statues on certain places and other specific outfits and facilities.

Morning coffee ...

... at the Body & Soul Retreat! I feel as though I have died and gone to heaven!

There isn't much to do up here in the hills so I rummaged through the hotel's small reading library. The only book of any literary merit was "The Wind in the Willows" and as I began to read it, I was immediately struck by the sentence, "The best part of a holiday is perhaps not so much to be resting yourself, as to see all the other fellows busy working."

Which may be true anywhere else but not in Bali where the local people just hang about, sit, squat, chatter, and laugh with each other. I'm sure there must be some stressed people in Bali but I haven't seen them yet. The only furrowed brows belong to tourists, worried about their schedules, if they have just been ripped off, or if dinner tonight will be up to scratch.

Speaking of which, a Dutch couple dropped in for dinner last night. Now I know that Germans can be pretty noisy when they're all absorbed in their Lederhosen world - but these Dutch?

One moment I was surrounded by sweet scents and soft gamelan music, and the next I felt like being hit over the head with a wooden shoe every time these "Hollanders" brayed out their gutteral sounds. With booming voices they announced that they liked the place and would phone back to make a booking. Why bother using the phone? Just speak normal and we'll hear you wherever you are!

Swimming with dolphins

Some people dream of flying to the Moon. Others dream to retire early. Other humans would give an arm and a leg, if they could fulfill their dream of swimming with wild dolphins.

If you happen to be in Bali, there are interesting locations to spot dolphins in their natural habitat or even swim with them in a salt-water pool as both is possible in the northern part of the island. While you can book the ‘famous’ Dolphin Tours at almost every hotel around Singaraja or Lovina; to swim (and touch) Dolphins in the open sea is an almost impossible thing to do.

They are way too fast and mainly are surrounded by hordes of motorized Outrigger Boats - filled with tourists of course - who shoot towards every spot, where a dolphin is just showing his long bottle-neck nose out of the water.

Nevertheless, it can be an interesting trip, as the beautiful sunrise over the northern mountains is already a rewarding experience - dolphins or not. The prices for these tours are usually fixed around Rp.40.000 to Rp.50.000 per person. You will start before sunrise (around 6am) for about 60-90 minutes and the chance to see dolphins are well above 50%. They travel usually in groups of 5-6 and you can see several groups of adults and young dolphins swimming and playing in the shallow northern waters, hunting for food.

To swim with Dolphins, you have to check out a different location: the Hotel Melka Excelsior in Kalibukbuk/Lovina in North Bali. Although the room rates are on the higher edge for Bali’s 3-Star Hotel standards (especially in the North), the chance of swimming with the dolphin is for sure worth the visit. You don’t have to live in the hotel to be able to watch them in some larger salt-water pools in the hotel, which are inhabited by the dolphins. Just pay the requested money. Isn’t everything always about money in the end? The Hotel features a small zoo of other Bali Wildlife as well.

There is a lot of controversy around that subject - Swimming with Dolphins - as you can see on several forums or websites. My 2 cents are, that while every month hundreds of whales, dolphins and other endangered species are killed around the world for ‘Scientific Reasons’ or plain strange food or ‘Exotic Medicine’ cravings; I do subscribe to the idea to let people swim with dolphins in swimming basins. You should see the shining faces of little children or the hearty laughs of elderly people who fulfill themselves a dream by swimming around a pool with 2-3 dolphins!

The most famous dolphins in the Melka Hotel are called ‘Jack’ and ‘John’, two naughty young males, who really seem to enjoy playing with visitors in their wet environment. They even try to copulate with the swimmer, if they are in the right mood. I remember reading somewhere that dolphins are among the few animals who enjoy sex as a pleasure and not only for reproduction. Not that you have to be afraid of that, though. Their games are mainly only pushing you from down below, swimming around you and “dancing” together, while involving the willing victim in their plays. You can hear the typical Dolphin Sounds, you probably know from plenty of Jacques Cousteau films or ‘Flipper’ flicks.

All in all the dolphins look healthy and well-fed. Of course you can’t judge from a dolphin’s ‘smile’ if they are treated well or generally happy. The children who swim with them are for sure and hopefully experience the fragile nature and the gentle charms of these beautiful animals.

Paradise Lost?

Having visited the island many times over the last 15 years, Emma Tom, the author of this book, went to Bali in 2006 to report on what it's NOW like to be an Australian in Bali. With tourist arrivals from Australia falling by half over the last year it is clear many Australians are no longer comfortable visiting what for thousands was a favourite holiday destination. But how have Australians imagined and used Bali in the past and what is likely to be the future relationship between Australians, the Balinese and their Javanese masters? And after terrorist attacks, The Bali Nine, Schapelle Corby, and calls for seccession from Indonesia from within, what are the Balinese NOW thinking of Australians and the future?

"Bali: Paradise Lost?" by Emma Tom, ISBN 186403 353 3 RRP $17.95

Bali's Vincent Van Gogh

That's what Theo Zantman likes to call himself! Where does he see the similarity? In the fact that Vincent was only recognised after his tragic suicide? Or that he never sold more than one or two paintings while he was alive? I hope he doesn't intend to shoot himself as Vincent did. If he does, he's running a bit late as Vincent committed suicide at the age of thirty-seven.

Today I'm heading into the hills ...

... to a Body & Soul Retreat which is next to the Brahma Arama Vihara Temple, Indonesia’s largest Buddhist temple and not far from the Air Panas hot water springs.

On my last day at Villa Agung, an Australian family from the Sunshine Coast, mother, father, and three teenage kids plus blow-up rubber dinghy complete with paddles, flippers, snorkels and masks, invaded the 'intimate'-sized pool and left me with no regrets about leaving.

In the afternoon, Gus, Villa Agung's gracious mine host, had taken me up to Derek Hambling's house in Kayuputih, just past the "Lovina House" and close to the Daima Resort. Derek has what is probably Bali's, if not the world's, largest horizon swimming pool with panoramic views of the coastline below and the tropical sea stretching to infinity.

His property is up for sale at Euro 395,000 but we went there to see him because he had a much smaller place for sale in the same area which is rented out to another expat - who turned out to be no other than the grey-faced and ageing Dutch painter Theo Zantman whose paintings I had wanted to see anyway. As it happened, neither the house nor the paintings inspired me.

So here I am now, at the Banjar Hills Resort which consists of four bungalows, NUTMEG, CINNAMON, CLOVE and GINGER. I am in GINGER!

The place is owned by five Australians. It's a lovely little complex which was built in 2000 for some Balinese owners. They couldn't make it work and so it was sold to some Australian(s) in 2002, who in turn sold it to the present owners who are all absentee owners and leave the running of the place to Ibu Made, an absolute gem of a woman, who cleans, washes, cooks, serves meals, mixes drinks, checks you in and out - and all that for a monthly pittance of Rp. 750,000

Even with such ridiculously low labour costs, the place is not making any money, and probably never will, as with just four bungalows it lacks the economies of scale. To top it, the place has had white ants, a fire, and some villagers have also disputed the title. The joys of owning Bali real estate!

Forever being the accountant, I figured that this place averages AUS$600 a month in room revenue, against a minimum monthly expenditure of some $700 (and that's not counting major repairs and maintenance and capital expenditure).

The restaurant, a potential source of revenue as great if not greater than the bungalows, has been sub-contracted out to caterers from the coast who pay a marginal 10% of their gross takings in rent. The hotel needs the restaurant more than the restaurant needs the hotel as without it, the hotel guests would have nowhere to go for their meals at all. Indeed, the hotel's greatest appeal, its distance from the coastal tourist belt, is also its greatest drawback.

Which brings me to the end of this blog as it's time for dinner. I've ordered the 'Nasi Goreng Spesial'.

Public Relations Award of the Year to Lovina Real Estate

This morning I phoned an Australian woman at Lovina Real Estate with whom I had arranged previously to inspect one particular property - see www.lovinarealestate.com. She sounded all terribly busy but thought she might squeeze me in around 9.30 am and would I know where to find her office? Squeeze me in? I had come several thousand miles to see one specific property and emailed her about it previously, and she thinks she might possibly squeeze me in? No 'welcome to Bali', no mention of picking me up! I think the only culture she ever got was out of a yoghurt tub!

I took a bemo, got off at the wrong spot, and walked another kilometre to the real estate office. Was met by a hard-faced Australian woman on the wrong side of 50 who certainly didn't get much change out of me after I had worked up a sweat walking for half-an-hour under the hot sun. I told her to hone her PR skills - and walked back out again!

The real estate chap I met yesterday, Eugene from Canada, didn't seem too flash either. He came in an old car that he said he had had to rent and I felt enough pity for him to reimburse him the Rp.150,000 for the car hire. Having only one property to show me - the Lovina House at Kayuputih - he suggested we'd go up to Banjar Hills and see where I will stay for the next five days. What a beautiful spot! Panoramic views that make you want to sit and look for ever and it makes you feel - literally - being on top of the world! I shouted Eugene and the driver a nasi goreng and a bir bintang before heading back down to the coast.

I doubt these real estate "agents" sell more than one property from one year to the next - if that! It's all supply and no demand! As for buying a hotel-type property to make money out of, forget it!!! The place is full with half-finished as well as completed but abandoned and rapidly decaying hotels, and the ones which are still in business, are doing it tough.

And instead of "investing" in such a place, I could rent myself a bungalow for the next fifty years (if I lived that long!), be waited on hand and foot, and still have change left over from what it would have cost me if I had bought the place - and I'm not even counting the ongoing maintenance costs and all the hassles that go with owning a property!

It seems that Victor in Cameroon is reading this blog as well! Hello there, Victor, and a pretty postcard from Bali is on its way to you! As is to Chris in Kamloops in the icey wastes of Canada. Chris, I had a couple from Quebec on the bus. Instead of sporting the maple leaf, they displayed the royal French fleur-de-lis. Told them I had never heard of Quebec! And 'oui-oui' means a toilet stop in my language! Bugger them! They want to opt out of the Commonwealth, they can go and get!

I'm getting a lot of swimming done (well, floating-about anyway!) last thing at night and first thing in the morning. Sometimes as early as 4 o'clock! I feel physically and mentally very well and relaxed. The tropics certainly agree with me. And I sleep wonderfully: all I have to do is lie under the fan and listen to the geckos and I'm off to dreamland!

  

There's gold in them thar hills ...

... around Banjar where I'll be heading tomorrow. Back in 2006 when it seemed that we had found a buyer for "Riverbend", I searched the net for Bali properties and came up with a little beauty, a Hillside Hotel in the Banjar Hills in North Bali. I came across it again when I was looking for hotel accommodation in Bali - and there it was again! I contacted the new owner to book a bungalow for five nights at the amazingly low price of 600,000 rupiah (approx. AUS85). I told him that I had had an eye on the same property some 2-1/2 years ago which is when he had bought it - at the bargain-basement price of AUS$150,000! Good luck to him! It proves yet again how important it is to be in the right place at the right time!

P.S. Foreigners are not allowed to own real estate in Indonesia. While various schemes have been devised to get around this, none are without danger as these articles testify: Bali Villas Real Estate Fraud and Welcome to your second home in Bali, which you can not own or rent

Hati-Hati! My second morning in Bali

My body clock is still on Nelligen time: it's 4 o'clock in the morning here (or 7 o'clock at home) as I sit in my room under a fan to compose this blog.

My taxi-driver friend Suyasa took me from the Harris Hotel to the Perama bus stop in Kuta. Suyasa drives one of the 500 shiny blue TAXIs of the www.bluebirdcompany.com . Too many taxis, not enough tourists! The locals seem to prefer cheaper transport, including unmetered TAKSI.

Drove past a sign which read, "AGUS'S CO-OPERATIVE ART CENTER". If the Balinese can correctly handle the possessive apostrophe, why can't the Australians? Saw a lot of signs on lamp-posts and walls which suggested, "TALK LESS, DO MORE." What a great sign to stick on the walls of Parliament House in Canberra!

The 4-hour Perama bus trip from Kuta to Lovina (Rp.125,000) took me through Ubud and then into the cool, damp mountain country around Danan Bratan. The general area around the lake is called Bedugul which is little more than a hotel, a restaurant and water sports centre. Saw a chap wearing a tee-short which read, "I started with nothing, and I still have most of it left." I want one!!! It sums up my life beautifully!

As we came farther north, we encountered fewer and fewer tourists, although there's still the occasional bony, hard-faced whote woman of uncertain age with a young Balinese toy-boy in tow. I guess, what's good for the ganter in Bangkok is good for the goose in Bali!

Gradually, as we drove through countless villages, the real Bali reasserted itself. My advice to prospective Bali travellers: Head straight north and bypass Kuta unless you want to relive "The Adventures of Barry McKenzie".

On arrival at the Perama bus stop in Lovina, the few of us who had come this far received a free lunch - simple but filling - which was included in the fare. Then we were given a quick promotional tour of their little rental bungalows which were lovely and quiet and which - wait for it! - rented for Rp.80,000 FOR TWO NIGHTS - and that includes breakfast! That's AUS$5 a night! One drawback: there is no pool but the beach is at the back of the property or for Rp.15,000 a day the nearby hotel Celuk Agung will let you use their 25 m pool.

By comparison, Sandy and Gus's VILLA AGUNG seems outrageously expensive at Rp.200,000 a night for a fan-cooled room. The menu, too, is a bit expensive in this ageing and slightly derelict-looking establishment but it has a friendly clientele and the owner, 68-year old Gus from Washington D.C., is one of the few agreeable Yanks I have ever met. His wife Sandy hasn't put in an appearance yet but no doubt she will eventually emerge from their adjoining residence which they built some ten years ago, after which they also acquired VILLA AGUNG which had gone bust. After the first Bali bombing, they thought it would happen to them, too, as they watched their place remain empty for well over a year.

Back to bed for another hour before the mosque and the roosters wake me up again when I drop into the pool described in their website as 'intimate' which is code for 'very tiny', however, it does the job of warming me up (yes, you have read correctly: at the crack of dawn, before the sun heats up the air, it's warmer inside the pool than out.)

The Bali Traveller

Many people have been irresistibly drawn to the island of Bali. Tourism is the number one industry for Bali, and every five minutes jet loads of visitors arrive to experience the tropical dream. The total number of tourists each year reaches almost 3 million.

A disproportionate number of visitors come from Australia, no doubt because of its proximity and the predilection Australians have for sunshine and beaches. Right from the moment they arrive you can discern two particular groups of visitors arriving from Austrralia's fair shores:

The stereotypical Australian “yobbo tourist”, firstly, travels by Qantas. He consumes as much free grog as possible, eats Australian food, and reads the Australian newspaper while en-route. He takes an air-conditioned taxi from the airport, arrives at his air-conditioned hotel or homestay, and enjoys the comforts of a home away from home. He may go out to “Norm’s Pub” and watch some Aussie Rules Football on TV or drink a Fosters Beer.

No matter what environment he may be in, no matter what the local culture is – he will try to ensure that his experience is consistent with what he is used to. He will not want to step outside of his comfort zone – literally. Inevitably, any deviation from what he expects will prove disastrous. He’ll complain about the heat, the food, the locals, and the inconveniences. Then, after he’s arrived home, he’ll tell everyone about the great time he had in Bali!

The Australian “traveller”, on the other hand, will visit another country precisely because he wants to absorb himself in a completely different environment and culture. He will travel Garuda and enjoy the local food, practising the local language with the attendants along the way. He’ll read the Indonesian subtitles of the movies, and continually check his phrase book to make sure his language is up to scratch for when he arrives.

The traveller will walk outside of the airport to find the local transport, and happily drag his backpack on board a local minivan or ‘bemo’. He’ll enjoy the hour it takes to travel 3 kilometres, squashed in with the pigs and the chickens, seeing it as an authentic Indonesian experience. He’ll enthusiastically soak up the sights and smells of the country he is visiting, no matter how unusual they may be. He stays in a local homestay, bravely bearing the hole-in-the-ground toilet and languid ceiling fans, taking time to interact with the local people and learn about their lives. No matter what happens, he’ll enjoy the experience simply because it is a unique experience.

Both the yobbo tourist and the traveller have arrived in the same country. Both have had similar experiences. What sets them apart, however, is their attitudes. It shapes how they see the situation, and how they respond to it. It determines, ultimately, how enjoyable and meaningful their visit will be.

Real Estate Inspection

Today I am inspecting a small boutique hotel that's for sale for IDR 1,500,000,000 or less than AUS$200,000. It has an owner's residence and four guest villas. I've done some preliminary sums and figured out that it could show a 3% return on the guest villas while still giving us a free residence in Bali.

If you are thinking of buying real estate in Bali, be careful! There are almost as many house, land property and business share scams in Bali as there are money scams. Non-Indonesians can not own land or property in Bali. It must be held in the name of a local and that leaves the foreigner at the mercy of lawyers and courts. Not a bright prospect in this country. Land can be leased but the longest period (and very rare) is 50 years. At the end of the lease you own neither the land nor any improvements you have put on it, eg a house. Similarly your position is risky if you want to buy shares in a Bali business (which might or might not involve property). It can be very difficult to find out if the person offering you a share is really the owner, and great faith can not be put in any official-looking documents you might be shown.

At least get the services of a recommended notary and/or lawyer as noted above, but be sure that they are recommended as an INDEPENDENT person in the possible transaction, certainly not one recommended by the seller. A particular level of notary, known as a ‘PPAT’ must be used for property matters. Kurnia at the Bali Immigration and Advisory Service in Jl Batu Belig in Seminyak is a notary. There are many with street-front shops who are reliable but for overseas travellers finding one with your language skills might be a problem. One who has been recommended strongly and who has good English skills and an honest reputation, is Made Puryatama, home ph (0361) 422 948, office ph (+) 226 782, fax (+) 232 620.

A useful contact in Bali if you're thinking of business opportunities is 'Dadvet' at dowdvet@aol.com. He says he has learnt of all the pitfalls the hard way and is willing to share his experiences. For a fee, no doubt, in order to recover all the money he's lost trying to do business in Bali!

Lovely Lovina

This morning I'm getting onto the Perama bus which will take me to Lovina Beach where I've booked myself into the Villa Agung Beach Inn for the next three days. Their website isn't the most inspiring - and I've already told the owners Sandy and Gus that I'll give them a hand to get it "up to speed"! - but I heard lots of good things about the place.

P.S. at mid-morning

Have just found out that there is only ONE bus to Lovina and it's leaving at 10 o'clock.  Sorry, Harris Tuban and all your friendly staff but I can't take advantage of your liberal check-out time!  Instead, I am scrambling to pack my little bag (wet swimtrucks and all) and be ready when my taxi-driver friend Suyasa picks me up at 9 o'clock to take me to the bus-stop.  It's four hours to Lovina via Ubud.  Will try and report more from lovely Lovina! (internet connection permitting)

First morning in Bali

The Harris Hotel has a very generous check-out: 12 o'clock noon.  Plenty of time for a long and leisurely swim (or two) in the pool - temperature 32 degrees! - and a sumptous breakfast (it's all included in the one low price) - anybody for rice and spicey curry, followed by lots and lots of tropical fruit and French patisseries? - and a short taxi-ride to the Discovery Shopping Mall to pick up a book from Periplus which I had ordered before I left Australia.  An ever-keen real estate agent, Eugene from Lovina, phoned me last night as he's got lots to show me.  Will check out the transport to North Bali and leave around lunchtime.  Goodbye, Harris Tuban; hello Agung Villas Lovina!  I don't know what the internet connection will be like in Lovina but probably a lot, lot slower than here in Tuban.  I have already checked myself back into Harris Tuban for my last night in Bali from the 19th to the 20th, and also confirmed Padma's booking for the 14th of June.  Beats me why anybody would want to holiday in Australia when they can get so much more for so much less here!!!

P.S. Padma, at Darwin airport I bought a croc-hat for "The Professor" and a cute wine-red tee-short for "Miss Surabaya 2025" - see http://www.riverbendnelligen.com/timmy.html and http://www.riverbendnelligen.com/time.html .

After my first night in Bali...

First impression: everybody is smiling!  That bleak-looking and scruffy lot of Australians aboard the Airbus A320-200 (seating capacity 177 - and full up!) had already made me reflect on whether I would ever want to run a small hotel in Bali and have any of that lot as my guests.  I really delight in seeing all those smiling Indonesian faces!  Young Harry (everybody seems young here!), the driver from Harris Hotel, was right at the head of the queue, waiting for me at the airport after I'd been whisked through Immigration and Customs in record-time (it does pay to have an honest, if ageing, face!)  My 30-day visa cost me Rps 300,000 (or I would have paid $30 in US currency).  Walked along a whole string of currency exchange counters all offering the same rate of Rps 7,600 to the AUS$.  Changed AUS$200.  The drive from the airport was all over in a couple of minutes, that's how close the hotel is.  They had upgraded me to a poolside suite at no extra cost (which was sweet of them!) and it's lovely, too!  Went straight for a swim.  The water felt like velvet.  Did three laps before the girl who brought me my welcome-drink, apologetically and with a big smile, pointed to a sign that stated that the pool was closed for "chemical upgrade".  Nothing to die from but I did smell a bit like Chemical Charlie as I sat down for a spicey meal in the open-air restaurant before turning in for the day at 11 o'clock Bali Time (that's already 2 o'clock next morning Nelligen Time and I had been on the go since 5 o'clock that previous morning.)  Woke up, seemingly refreshed, five hours later at 4 o'clock, made myself a cup of black tea and sat down to write these notes.  An hour later, the nearby mosque started to call the faithful to prayer.  I' am praying for another beautiful day in Paradise as I head north to Lovina!  And top-marks to Harris Hotel in Tuban:  great place, great service, great people!